I lied the first time I decided to wear the hijab. But let me explain.
I had spent countless hours contemplating the decision, imagining how it would change my life and how others would see me. Just before going to bed a random monday, I decided. But as I said before, I lied.
To protect myself from judgment, I told everyone I knew that I was just "testing it out." That way, if I took it off, I wouldn't hear, "omg, she removed the hijab after a week." But deep down, I had already decided to be a hijabi.
Walking out the door, I felt a mix of peace and anxiety. Would people stare? Will they judge? I also felt as If I was wearing the wrong size of shoes. It felt weird. Throughout the day, reactions were mixed.
Some friends were supportive, while others were skeptical, asking " are you really a hijabi now? and giving weird looks. I kept saying, "I'm just trying it out," but i was straight up lying because it felt like a betrayal of the genuine decision I had made in my heart.
At the same time, I felt a sense of peace. I made a connection with Allah, knowing I was taking a step closer to Him.
By the end of the day I realized, why was I so concerned about what others thought? This journey was mine, a personal step taken for the sake of Allah. Other peoples opinions, whether supportive or judgmental, should not dictate my actions. In the grand scheme of things, who really cares? The only opinion that truly matters is that of Allah, and I knew I was doing this for Him.
Today, I wear my hijab with pride and confidence. It's a symbol of my faith and identity. So, if you're in a similar place, embrace your journey honestly and with courage. People's opinions will always change, but your relationship with Allah is what counts.
All love,
Svmourv.